Doubts

I'm sensing the doubts people
Have about me,
Think I ain't trying hard enough?
Did I forget to mention all the tension devouring my body and wrenching my soul,
Must have, forgetful

People worry, and they should,
But not enough to force an intervention,
I'm going to do what I want to do
So shut your mouth and if you really want to help then treat me like anyone else,

I don't bathe, I don't shave and I have all this pent up rage,
But I act around you, and I do it well, I think my act sells,

Until I'm back in my own car or house and then I turn to my wife and try to keep my eyes dry until we can make it home, to be alone so I can push this rock up that massive mountain again.

Can't tell you how many times it's been,
But if you look at me you can tell  I'm thin,
Pushed that rock up so many times you think I'd have one win,
But my rewards been more pushing, and a few coins in a cup of tin,

Did I forget to mention all the tension devouring my body and wrenching my soul

I haven't eaten in days, don't need to, always full,
Pumpkin pie even bores me now, all food is dull,
When I'm asked to eat I'd rather drill a hole in my head,
Is life worth it or is it easier being dead?
That's a fine line to be on, as thin as thread,
No longer caring about your daily bread,
Instead your head flies in circles from all those meds,
I dread the thought of standing up
Cuz I might drop dead

Jun9 2012

JL